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Everything Suddenly Coming Up Promethean Times
A Very Special Message From Smaktakula Much like human papillomavirus in America’s high schools, Promethean Times is pretty hard to avoid these days. Thanks, Formerly...
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Not What You Were Looking For? Episode Three: The Search For Cock
By Smaktakula Presenting the third installment in our wildly popular series: Not What You Were Looking For? In which we list some of the search engine terms (indicated in bold) by which you found us,...
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Eine Kleine Snatchmusik
By Smaktakula Lady Gaga, the intermittently interesting humanoid lava lamp, reveals to Vanity Fair the fecund loam from which, flower-like, her creativity springs. “I have this weird thing that if I...
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Mark Wahlberg Is Nothing Without The Funky Bunch. Nothing!
By Smaktakula There. We said it. Marky Mark Wishes He Could Travel Forward In Time To Lay A Beatdown On That Poser, Mark Wahlberg, Like In That Dope New Movie...
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Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Family Matters
By Smaktakula If you ever find yourself forced to make small talk with wacky cult leader and would-be-Messiah Charles Manson, it’s probably best not to mention the Beatles unless you’ve got the time to...
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Will Pirouette For Respect
By Smaktakula Ballet has long been known as both an aesthetic and athletic endeavor, entwining beauty and ability into a single art form. In its physicality it is not unlike more traditional sports,...
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Skanks In The Crosshairs, Part I: Twilight Of The Strumpets
By Smaktakula Flower of American Skankhood: LiLo Mimes Fellatio For An Approving Audience. The 21st Century promises to be a cold one for women of easy virtue. Harlots, hos, sluts, wayward girls,...
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Feud With Manson Family Now Officially A ‘Beef’
By Smaktakula Charles Manson: Believes He Has Been Unfairly Depicted As Some Kind Of Lunatic. Corcoran State Prison, California: Messianic fantasist Charles Manson is said to be upset with website...
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Musical History: The New Edition
By Smaktakula "Now I Am Become Death, The Destroyer Of Worlds..." Although each was a talented vocalists in his own right, only one member of New Edition would go on to destroy one of the greatest...
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Headlines 06.20.12
By Smaktakula Relax, Nobody’s Dead. They’re Talking About “Any Sensation Whatsoever.” In which we comment on today’s headlines, without reading the articles. If you’re like us, you instinctively...
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